Recently...

Hmm... was asked to share about my journey of being "consolidated", during cell yesterday. Did not share very well... realised that I'm not very good at doing impromtu sharing... weird... This was not so when I first accepted Christ...

Realised that throughout the past few months, I've taken steps forward, as well as, backwards... I'm not as energetic as I used to be, not as excited... I used to think that I would be the change that can bring more life into the cell, since I'm the youngest; to encourage a more open environment. Yet, now, I either do not know what to share or have nothing to share... am usually tired and can't seem to make an effort to give, encourage... I only seem to be sucking, and taking, instead of giving...

Hmm... I read about the cell in UK and wonder if I'm growing as much as I should...

There are a series of mission trips organised by Campus Crusade for Christ this coming May and June... I wonder if I should go... the deadline is Monday... I was excited about going, then I thought maybe I would be better to go next year, then I was excited to go, then I felt lazy to go...

During worship yesterday, I felt the Lord saying to me "I am more than enough for you. You do not need to do anything else to earn your salvation..." Yet, just now I had the thought, "If I do not go, would there be another disaster that more people are going to die without knowing the Father's love..."

Yesterday, I also had the feeling that I should not stay on campus next academic year... My family should be my main ministry. How am I to serve them, if I am home only during the weekends, and weekends has church and equipping and outings with other people and trying to do work? Mostly, I would be so tired that I'll just zonked out by the time I reached home...

Yet, moving home would mean sacrificing so many things... will I be able to? will I be able to live at home? It will be so difficult... there has been so much trials since coming back... that I miss UK so much... yet I know, it is though these trials that I will be made perfect and complete...

Lord, I know that I tend to focus on the problems and obstacles so much, that often, I can't see the way out... Help me to train my eyes on You instead, and not compromise your importance... Help me to build deeply, to love and serve unconditionally, to be open, to be vulnerable, to be humble...

wow... saw dandelion fluff on one of my slippers... thought I would never see them again =)

Hmm... week 4 of semester already... It's been really fast... before I go any further, would like to post a summary of last week's sermon. They are really good! These summaries are prepared by one of my cell mates, Sophia Tan.

**29/01/05
New wine for the new generation (by Pastor Benny Ho)
John 2:11"This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth his glory; and his disciples believed on him." where Jesus made new wine from water.
Jesus shows that He takes orders from God alone -- He gently chides Mary for involving him but he meets the need for wine quietly as it's a disgrace to run out of wine. As he turns the water into wine -- it signifies the change of era that Jesus came to institutionalise.
John calls them "signs".
Signs in Greek is "semeion" which denotes "acts that call for the exercise of supernatural power" and with that, it would "force" a decision to believe or disbelieve.
1. Jesus came to transform.
a) He transforms our MISTAKES into MIRACLES, obstacles into opportunities.
There was once a boy who lost his right arm, he became very despondent. But one day he wanted to learn JUDO, thus his mother was all for it, and even sent him to a judo school overseas. Once there, even tho he was without his right arm, the master sensei taught him.1st day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 2nd day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 3rd day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 4th day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move. 5th day -- Stroke 1, 2, 3, killer move.Soon, the boy asked, isn't he supposed to learn other things, but the sensei asked him to be patient, and taught the boy as such.
Soon, the boy started competing and won competitions, first locally, regionally, all by using his KILLER MOVE. Then, he was entered into an international competition, where he easily reached finals. He faced his toughest opponent, two heads taller. While being thrown around, he kept his cool, and waited for his chance. When it did, he executed his KILLER MOVE, and pinned his opponent down and WON. The boy was delirious with joy, and his mum wore her smile with pride and gratitude.Finally, the boy proceeded to ask his sensei how is the KILLER MOVE so potent... first, his sensei said, he has learnt the killer move well. Second, for the opponent to break this move, is to grab his right arm...
MORAL OF THE STORY:It could be the biggest mistake we have made, but if we shld be willing, and give it back to Him, he could turn it into our greatest advantage.
b) Transforms our religiosity/rituals into reality
wine -- symbol of inner joy, turning external rituals into inner joys.
He came to institute a new era of GRACE. The new covenant of grace doesn't make us lawless, the law-giver now lives IN us, which is even more demanding.
ie. Previously we would have sinned if we committed the ACT of adultery, now it would be sinful to simply think of it.
Proverbs 4:23 "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life (New American Standard Bible)"A religion of the heart. It's not concerned with protocol, but purity. Not so much with precision, but passion. Not with exact programme of how things are run, but power of His Words.
c) Transforms Scarcity into Abundance
As He transforms water into wine, he did so not simply one jar, but six jars, which will probably yield about 180 gallons of wine. Since the wedding is at the tail-end, the guests do not need that much, but He is an extravagant giver.
1 Kings 17
The Widow of Zarephath
8 Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, 9"Go now to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and live there; for I have commanded a widow there to feed you." 10So he set out and went to Zarephath. When he came to the gate of the town, a widow was there gathering sticks; he called to her and said, "Bring me a little water in a vessel, so that I may drink." 11As she was going to bring it, he called to her and said, "Bring me a morsel of bread in your hand." 12But she said, "As the LORD your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of meal in a jar, and a little oil in a jug; I am now gathering a couple of sticks, so that I may go home and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die." 13Elijah said to her, "Do not be afraid; go and do as you have said; but first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterwards make something for yourself and your son. 14For thus says the LORD the God of Israel: The jar of meal will not be emptied and the jug of oil will not fail until the day that the LORD sends rain on the earth." 15She went and did as Elijah said, so that she as well as he and her household ate for many days. 16The jar of meal was not emptied, neither did the jug of oil fail, according to the word of the LORD that he spoke by Elijah.Elijah Revives the Widow's Son 17 After this the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, became ill; his illness was so severe that there was no breath left in him. 18She then said to Elijah, "What have you against me, O man of God? You have come to me to bring my sin to remembrance, and to cause the death of my son!" 19But he said to her, "Give me your son." He took him from her bosom, carried him up into the upper chamber where he was lodging, and laid him on his own bed. 20He cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, have you brought calamity even upon the widow with whom I am staying, by killing her son?" 21Then he stretched himself upon the child three times, and cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, let this child's life come into him again." 22The LORD listened to the voice of Elijah; the life of the child came into him again, and he revived. 23Elijah took the child, brought him down from the upper chamber into the house, and gave him to his mother; then Elijah said, "See, your son is alive." 24So the woman said to Elijah, "Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the LORD in your mouth is truth."
Notice the "words of scarcity" spoken by the widow, and pay heed to the "words of abundance" spoken by the prophet.
John 10:10"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly."
Ephesians 1:7-8"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."
Our heavenly Father lavishes on us...**

For the past two weeks, everything service, equipping class, daily devotion, has been about abundant life...