Seems like I have an answer from God regarding my different personalities and who I am...

Though I know that I am a child of God and who I am determines what I do (not, what I do determines who I am), I couldn't understand the different personalities in different environments...

*Some people may not understand what you read below... pardon me..*

I sense that I have been taking my immediate physical environment too seriously. Yet, true reality is the spiritual world, where God is King and He is in control (He is enthroned and His robes fill the temple..), the realm where everything is easy and a mustard seed of faith can uproot a mulberry tree.

ie. Real environment is spiritual, not my immediate physical environment.

Hmm... just reread what I wrote... sounds a bit like Matrix.

Anyway, God affirms that He loves me so much that He's willing to humble Himself to die on the cross for me. And I desire to move in the Spirit! (not in the flesh.)

This issue has been troubling me... sometimes more intense, sometimes less...

I feel I have a different personality with different people...
When I'm with Group A, I'm very much subdued, listless, sianz, "heck care", quiet, blend into the background, you probably wouldn't even notice that I'm there... I would have nothing to say, nothing to contribute...
When I'm with Group B, I'll be more rah-rah, more confident, more talkative, speaking up in front of the group, more cheerful, more positive, more creative, more decisive, more productive, more energy though I might be very tired...

The personalities does not depend on how tired or awake I am, but on the pple I'm with... This is very strange... How can I be so affected by my environment? Who am I really?

This issue disturbs me very much because when i'm in personality A, this personality follows into my school/work life... I don't have much passion for my work... i'm merely existing, doing things mechanically... I need to break out of this!!!

I was very troubled by this issue a while ago... somehow, i had a focus shift and I feel so much better now. Maybe I need to do this focus shift more often... I used to do it frequently when I first came back to Singapore (from my student exchange, ie when I just receive Christ)... focus shift to God's love and His kingdom.

I do hope to gravitate towards personality B... and I do hope to know why this is happening...